we only love in the dark
by MissingMommy
Summary: I can't be your secret anymore. I won't be.


For Quidditch, final round two. Prompts are "actions speak louder than words" and draining.

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You hear the crack of Apparation. You close your eyes, taking a deep breath. If there ever was a time for your Gryffindor bravery, it's now.

You haven't bothered unpacking your bags yet, because this conversation can go one of two ways and you want to be ready for both. Taking another deep breathe, you exit the room in search of your boyfriend. You find him in the kitchen. He's grabbing himself something to drink. "Hey," you say, announcing yourself.

He jumps slightly, turning around. "You scared me. I wasn't expecting you home until Thursday," he replies apologetically.

You find that you don't have the heart to tell him that it is Thursday. Instead, you change the subject. "How was work?"

Shrugging, he says, "The usual. How's practice been?" He turns back towards the fridge, most likely looking for something to cook.

You know that he doesn't care about Quidditch, that he's only asking because it seems right. You mimic his motions. "Same."

He spins around. He tilts his head and furrows his eyebrows. "What's wrong?" When you go to tell him nothing, he cuts across you. "I know that sound of voice. Something's wrong, so don't lie to me."

You consider lying, but he knows you well enough to know when you are. So you shake your head. "I can't do this," you reply.

You can see his thoughts racing through his head, but you don't bother to explain. You know that he'll understand. A few moments later, you can see realization dawn on him. The look that he gives you is enough to make your heart ache. You're just too emotionally drained to take back your words.

When the hurt expression disappears from his face, anger takes its place. He narrows his eyes. "What are you saying?"

"I can't be your secret anymore," you answer. "I won't be."

In an instant, the anger fades from his eyes. "You know why we haven't told anyone," he whispers.

You nod. "I know. You could lose your job at the Ministry for being with me. But I hate that I can't hold your hand in public. I hate not being able to tell anyone that I have someone who I care about. I just want something more from this relationship."

"You knew that this was the way it was going to be before we left Hogwarts."

"Yes, I did. I knew that to keep your chance at the Ministry that we would have to hide this. But I wasn't expecting this, Percy. You haven't even told your family!" you argue. "All they think I am to you is your roommate."

He paces back and forth, his emotions pouring out of him like never before. "Why does that matter? It doesn't make me love you any less."

You shake your head sadly. "You can say that all you want, but you have to show it. And hiding this from everybody, from your _family_, isn't showing it," you say.

"Is that what you want? You want me to scream it at everyone?" His tone is low and angry.

The tone in his voice causes you meet his eyes. You've never seen him like this before, so expressive. You shake your head again. "No. I just want to feel like I'm something more to you than your roommate. I want to be able to tell the guys that I have someone waiting for me at home when they try to set me up. I want your family to know that I'm more than your roommate."

He looks like he's about to speak, but you aren't finished. "I'm not asking you to tell everyone. They don't have to know that we're together. I just want them to know that you're taken, that we're taken."

"They'll get suspicious if they know that we are dating people," he replies.

"We just have to be careful, like we were at Hogwarts. Please," you whisper, "just think about it."

He nods. "I'm going to take a shower," he says. He turns on his heels and heads for the bedroom, and you don't bother to stop him.

You open the fridge, grabbing yourself out a drink. "You didn't bother to unpack," he says, startling you. His tone sounds wounded. "Why?"

You know that he understands the implications of your unpacked bags, but you find yourself saying, "It's either we fix this, or…" You trail off, not really wanting to say the words.

"We break up," he finishes for you.

Your eyes soften and you nod apologetically. "I told you. I'm not going to be your secret, Percy," you explain. "I just want one person besides us to know."

"That's all it takes? One person and I don't lose you?"

"Just one," you confirm.

He stares at you for a moment. And he nods. "One person," he murmurs to himself. Several moments passes as he thinks to himself. His blue eyes flicker up to meet yours when he comes to a decision. "I'll write to Charlie in the morning," he finally says. "And I'll tell him about us. Is that good?"

A smile crosses your face for the first time since he's gotten home. Even though Charlie lives in Romania, it's still his brother. You know that's why he picked him – it's a combination of what you wanted while still keeping it a secret. "Perfect," you reply. You press your lips against his, hard. When you pull apart, you whisper, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He turns away from you. "Now, I'm really going to take a shower," he says. He disappears back towards your bedroom.

You start pulling things out of the fridge, getting ready to cook dinner. You know that the conversation isn't truly over. You still have some things to work out, but you are happy because he's willing to work on this. He wants this as much as you do.

In the end, everything might just be okay.

A/n – so many thanks to Emily for beta-ing this for me. She's a doll!


End file.
